Is it true that divorce is harder on men?
There are many claims about how women seem to be more emotional than men. However, when it comes to divorce, the female finds it easier to deal with, according to some studies.
The truth is: the husband probably has much more to lose once deciding to divorce his wife, such as happiness, care, and so on; thus, he feels difficult to move on compared to the wife.
How are emotions of a man going through divorce?
In this article, let’s see how a man deals with different divorce emotional stages.
7 Stages of Sorrow for Divorced Men
A divorce can be challenging and complicated for a man to handle.
A survey has shown that it’s typical for women to initiate the divorce; due to this, men may feel shocked and overwhelmed. He seems fine at the beginning of the separation; nevertheless, he’ll soon suffer from a wave of emotions after several days.
For guys struggling with divorce, it might be helpful if you understand each stage of grief on a deeper level. By that, you can tell which stage you are currently in and figure out what you should do to reach the last stage with a positive mind.
1. Shock and denial
The moment you get divorced, your emotions will become numb. It’s hard for you to accept what already happened, and you’ll be in the disbelief state.
Actually, men usually deny the loss – it’s not that they feel nothing; in fact, they just want to ignore the pain eating their heart.
2. Guilt and pain
When the shock wears off, here comes a period to suffering and hurt. You will feel an excruciating pain in this stage; however, be brave and face against your emotions directly instead of ignoring it and keeping it inside.
It’s never good to run away from your sorrow; furthermore, you shouldn’t overuse drugs or alcohol.
3. Anger and bargaining
When the sadness passes, the next stage you will experience as a divorced man is anger. A sign to recognize whether or not you’re dealing with this phase is that you will frequently lash out at innocent individuals.
Don’t intentionally display your impulse on those blameless; otherwise, you will permanently hurt other significant people and relationships in your life. The best way is to try your best to control your unreasonable anger.
Focus your mind and pray to the higher power in order to alter your situation. It is also recommendable to make a negotiation with yourself – changing yourself to be a better husband for a chance of bringing back your ex-wife.
4. Loneliness, depression, and reflection
Many find this hurdle is the most difficult and challenging to overcome. People close to you including your family and friends are expecting you to move on and start a new journey, but it takes you quite a long time for self reflection. Things will get much worse if you ignore your children to drown yourself in the loneliness.
You cannot really feel the loss until reaching this phase – it starts hitting you strongly and ends up letting you live with feelings of despair. You’ll be prone to close off and isolate yourself from people around during this time.
How to get over this challenge?
Keep telling yourself that moving forward is the only way. Don’t mind writing down your inner emotions as it’s good for introspective reflection and personal growth.
5. Take the upward turn
Once going back to your single life, it means you’ll have much freedom and options compared to the old you in the married life. Be positive about future days ahead no matter how sad you still are.
It’s unable for a man to feel completely normal – he will have certain triggers making him hesitant to start a new relationship and soon developing trusting issues. He feels insecure and can’t help feeling his new love will end up like the previous one.
Nonetheless, you will take the upward turn at a certain time because you do know life is continuing. It’s hence better to adjust your new life and get it more organized.
6. Restoration and acceptance
It’s impossible to spend the whole life grieving!
Once you find yourself at this stage, meaning you finally decide to move on and come up with plans regarding your future without being obsessed about your ex-wife. Instead of thinking of winning her back, you focus more on goals for yourself and can’t wait to find out the direction your life is heading.
You are truly restoring from the pain and accepting the reality; this is a good sign as you’re no longer holding back on the past.
7. Hope for a better future
Guess what? You’ve come to the finish line!
When a man gets divorced, he needs to work through a pretty long way full of pain and negativity until he truly and completely accepts his loss.
The moment you make decisions of putting the past behind, you’ll be eager to find new hopes for your life. Reaching this stage doesn’t mean you will immediately find happiness; nonetheless, you will overall be optimistic and try to live a healthy lifestyle.
Every day is your healing day; thus, never stop moving forward.
Wrap it up
If the man keeps building up his negative emotions during the divorce period, he will put himself at a high risk of serious long-term health problems emotionally. For those who are having a hard time of overcoming a divorce, it’s better to receive assistance from authentic counselors and therapists.
The problem is: his pride avoids him from seeking the help he truly need.
When coming to mental health, he doesn’t need hollow advice like “be a man.” Don’t try to make those harmful notions or they could lead a guy to destructive habits which are totally not good for his divorce recovery.
In general, we’ve listed a variety of different emotions of a man going through divorce above.
Tell us your opinions in the comment!